Writing Through Depression.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Oddly enough, depression can often be viewed through a sheen of glamour in the writing community. Whether it’s because we have an ingrained image in our minds of “tortured artists,” because we’ve heard of many amazing writers who suffer from it, or because of a sneaking sense that we can’t write anything worth reading if we haven’t suffered, having depression can seem almost like a badge of honor. After all, Hemingway did call it “The Artist’s Reward.”

That is, from the outside. Anyone who is in the middle of it knows just how deeply unglamorous depression can be. It very seldom spurs writers on to greater heights of creative genius, and even if it does, it robs us of any ability to celebrate our achievements. More often, it scrambles our brains and makes our pens feel as if they’re made of lead, effectively destroying our productivity. And often that can lead to conflicting feelings of despair and apathy, as we consider that “nothing we could write would be worth reading anyway.” Yes, yes. Very attractive.

Many writers, however, have found a way to keep working through it. I recently read this blog post, which gives four helpful tips for writing through depression, and I’d like to add my thoughts:

1. Keep a writing ritual.
   This one is crazy important, but it’s also crazy important to make sure that your ritual works for you. It can be tempting, especially if you are as competitive as I am, to take someone else’s ritual and say, “if they can, I can.” But it doesn’t work this way. All that will set you up for, if you’re depressed, is one more reason to feel like you’ve failed and hate yourself. Maybe setting a word count or time limit works for you, or maybe you have to simply latch onto the concept of “No Zero Days,” like I’m currently doing. All that means is that I refuse to have any days where I don’t write. Even if I can only manage a paragraph, I can still say I’ve met my goal.
2. Honor your creative highs.
   Please do this. Please, please do this. If you notice a spark of motivation inside you, stoke it. Work with it. There will be plenty of days where you have to work without it, so don’t waste the highs. The internet will be there for you later.
3. Utilize your writing as an outlet.
   This is an awkward one for me, because I tend to be in the “squash it down and pretend it isn’t there” camp. Which doesn’t really work. Hence this blog post. Still, there are ways you can use your writing that aren’t self-indulgent. If we’re supposed to “write what we know,” that includes depression. Write characters who are living with it, just like you are. Write it into the background of their lives, or write it into the center. Write it with humor. Write it with pragmatism. It doesn’t always have to be a hovering specter.
4. Give yourself grace.
   Grace, grace, and more grace. Your brain is messing with you. In fact, it’s probably shrinking. You might also be tired and hurting. So be nice to yourself. Even if you have a zero day, that doesn’t make you a waste of oxygen. You’re doing an amazing job just by getting through your days with this kind of garbage on top of you. Depression is not your fault. Never beat yourself up about stuff you haven’t accomplished, or feel guilty about feeling bad. Give yourself grace.

And that’s all I really have to say about that. Other than to encourage you to get help if you’re suffering with depression. Even if you aren’t sure if it’s real. Talk to somebody you trust, whether it’s a family member, friend, or therapist. There’s no shame in wonky brain chemistry.