Spinning in my Desk Chair.

This has been me for the past couple of weeks, people:


Because I’ve been holding back some info that I’m rather excited about. I got invited to write a guest post over on The Bard and the Bible, sharing my favorite Shakespeare quotes. I was like:


And then I was like:


And then I was like:



Welp, the finished product was posted yesterday at noon, and then I was like:



Seriously, folks, I don’t honestly know why, but it was terrifying to see my words on somebody else’s blog. I’m still not sure how I feel about it.


I can’t even imagine what it will be like when I finally see them in PRINT.


At any rate, here’s the post. Check out the rest of the blog while you’re there, it’s magnificent. Also buy the book, as it is also magnificent.

That’s all for now, folks.





Fragment of a Story I May Never Write.

Yeah, so… I was too busy celebrating freedom yesterday to share any inspiration with you. To make up for it, here is my contribution to this month’s Words on Wednesday linkup. But first, a little explanation…

It’s a scene from somewhere in the middle of a story I’m contemplating, centered around the fairies from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Oberon’s habit of becoming concerned with the love lives of random humans has always made me giggle, as does his habit of sending the endlessly mischievous and flighty Puck to do his dirty work. I wondered what would happen if Oberon became interested in bringing together a couple of average American high school students, and sent Puck in to bring them together. Puck (otherwise known as Robin Goodfellow), an ancient, shapeshifting animal spirit (yes, Puck is a pooka) masquerading as a teenager, and befriending a girl in the process, seems to hold certain possibilities.



“Hey Leah, come watch this movie with me,” her dad called from the living room. “It was one of my favorites growing up, you need to see it.”

“What is it?” Leah shouted back from the kitchen.

“It’s called Harvey. It’s got Jimmy Stuart in it, playing a guy whose best friend is a six-foot high white rabbit that only he can see.”

“What?” Leah came and stood in the doorway.

“I know, but you just have to see it, trust me. Then it will almost make sense. Besides, it’s a classic.”

“Okay…” Leah sat down on the edge of the couch, balancing her plate on her knees. She was more focused on not spilling her food while texting her friend than what was happening on screen, until suddenly Jimmy Stuart’s eerie monotone cut through her thoughts. “Harvey’s a pooka,” he was explaining to another character.

“A what?” Leah yelped, dropping her fork.

“A pooka,” Jimmy Stuart answered.

“Pookas are animal spirits from Celtic folklore,” Leah’s dad explained. “You okay there?”

“Yeah,” Leah muttered, retrieving her fork. “Yeah, I know what a pooka is. I’m going to get a new fork.”

She sat through the rest of the movie without seeing it, trying to keep from bursting into semi-hysterical laughter every five seconds. This was too unreal.

“So, what did you think?” her dad asked as the credits rolled.

“Oh, it was… cute. I liked it,” Leah managed to say. “Like, that whole pooka thing… that was funny.” She stood up. “Hey, I think I’m going to go to bed now. I didn’t really get much sleep last night.”

“Okay, hon.” Her dad looked at her closely. “Sure you’re all right? Not coming down with something, are you?”

“No, I’m fine. Night, Dad.” Finally, she escaped to her room.




The next morning, when Leah left the house, a tall white rabbit was leaning against the street light, arms folded and legs crossed casually. Leah pursed her lips and walked past him as if he wasn’t there, but he fell silently into step beside her.

“So, you’re spying on me now?” Leah asked him after a while.

The rabbit shrugged. “Why not? You spied on me first.”

Leah’s mouth opened, then shut. “I googled you,” she protested. “That’s different. Would you please stop already with this rabbit thing?”

“Why? You’re the only one who can see me, you know. To anybody else who might be watching you’re just a pretty young girl talking to her imaginary friend.”

“Well, whatever. It’s creeping me out. I just want you to go back to looking like yourself.”

The rabbit laughed. “I doubt if you would find that any less ‘creepy,’ as you put it.”

“I mean your normal, teenage-looking self. Your school self.”

“Normal,” the rabbit snorted. But as Leah watched, he began to melt and fold in on himself until Robin was walking beside her. The whole process couldn’t have taken more than three seconds.

“Well that was disturbing,” Leah observed after she recovered from her shock.

Robin clicked his tongue. “First you tell me to change because I’m ‘creepy.’ Then when I do change, I’m ‘disturbing.’ There’s no pleasing you, is there?”

That Sonnet I Mentioned.

So in my last post I was telling you lovely folks about a sonnet my character wrote. Well, almost a sonnet. Three quatrains, anyway. The couplet still hasn’t come to me, but I reckon I’ll share it with you anyway. Mainly because I’m in a huge rush today and don’t have time for a longer post.

When came this orphan feeling to my soul
That permeates me to the very bone?
I, who have every reason to be whole,
Shatter with the desire to be unknown.
Yet not desire, not that, for then I’d be
No orphan, but a hermit. Far removed
From any who might peer to close and see
My weakness. I’d wait no more to be approved.
No. I wait here, lonely and bereft,
Hoping for just a single heart to reach
Out, and with a touch to seal the cleft
Whose draining power I cannot frame in speech.

Anyway, there you have it. He’s kind of a lonely boy.

A Brief Introduction to Elisabeth Bridges.

I now interrupt your regularly scheduled Tuesday-and-Thursday blog schedule with these messages:

The lovely Lynn over at Written Reflections has started a “Words on Wednesday” linkup for writers which I’m hoping to be able to participate in whenever I can. It’s basically just a way for writers to share what they’re up to, along with spewing words out on a suggested topic. But I’ll leave the details up to her, as it’s explained nicely on her blog, and I want you to check it out anyway.

All that to say that you may be seeing the occasional Wednesday post from me from now on, starting with this one:

A Brief Introduction to Elisabeth Bridges.

Ugh. Introductions have never been my strong point. In fact, this whole post/possibly self-indulgent journal entry will most likely find its natural habitat on the “Growing Up Shy” social media hashtag. I’ve never been one of those people who could talk comfortably about themselves. I end up forgetting my entire life history, apart from little things that I cannot imagine anyone wanting to hear about.

That confession out of the way, I will do my best to explain how I got here. At five years old, I decided to write a Curious George book, complete with illustrations. I stapled together some sheets of paper, drew what might, with a bit of imagination, be construed as a monkey-like figure, and wrote: “onc there was a monky called curius Georg.” After that effort, my mind went blank, and I set the project aside for “some other time.” So much for that.

In a way, that experience could well sum up my writing life ever since. I’ve never once lost the desire to write, but the motivation and moxie have ebbed and flowed unpredictably. I went through times when “to be an author” was my main goal in life, and other times when it seemed more like a pipe dream. The times of discouragement reached their height during (predictably) my adolescence, at which point, due no doubt partly to the usual litany of teen anxt and self-loathing, as well as what I now know was a major trough of depression, I gave up on any serious writing beyond academic requirements. Yet even when I was most convinced of my inability to write, my lowest points were always accompanied by a frenzied bout of word-spewing. There was, and still is, no better way for me to express myself than through the medium of pen and paper.

This state continued until October 30, 2013, when I decided to give NaNoWriMo a try. At the time, I thought it wouldn’t amount to anything more than a casual fling, a sort of literary one-night stand.

Well, I was wrong. On Thanksgiving that year, I emerged triumphant, with 50,000 words that were all my own. Terrible, sloppy things they may have been, but I had breathed them into being, and I realized that no matter how I might “feel” from one day to the next, this was something I had to do. Ever since then, while my output still ebbs and flows almost as erratically as it did when I was five, my resolution has only strengthened. I am a writer, and I will drown myself in ink, bury myself in paper, until I arise newly born on the wings of my own words.


Rewriting the Heck out of Stuff.

As you’ve probably guessed from the title, I’m doing a lot of rewriting these days…

There’s my NaNovel from last November, which is slowly and rather unsurely making its way toward becoming a decent second draft. And then there is my Future Learn class, “Start Writing Fiction,” which I wrote about last week. One of the first week’s exercises was to write a short character sketch based on the physical appearance of someone we encountered within the last few days. Well, easy peasy, I thought to myself. I can do that like falling off a log. So I dashed one off about a guy I had noticed while I was out swing dancing the weekend before.


Since then, after reading various excerpts from really good writers, I have been challenged to rewrite that one little character sketch three more times, deepening it and trying new techniques every time.

I only saw the guy once, and we never interacted with each other! What is this madness?Impossible!

But the Red Queen tells us to always believe six impossible things before breakfast.

I have done it. And it’s teaching me a lot about how to access my imagination, let alone how to write decent characterizations.

I’m not really sure how to boil this lesson down into a pithy  thesis statement, but I know it’s an important lesson, especially right now, when I’m slowly chewing my way through a much longer project. It’s good to see what I can accomplish with a bit of elbow grease.


In case anybody is interested, here is the first draft of my swing-dancer character sketch:

Early in the evening, the young man danced to almost every song, and never with the same partner twice. He was easy to spot out on the floor, with his red plaid shirt and bright blonde hair, shaved close on the sides but long and side-swept on top.

Halfway through the night, however, he stopped dancing and sat on the side, slouching back in his chair or leaning forward, elbows propped on his black skinny jeans-clad knees. Sometimes one hand would go up to finger the large white ear-gauges he wore, or to adjust his glasses. Occasionally he would pull his iPhone out of his pocket and send a message, but mostly he just watched the dancers, a vaguely melancholy expression on his face. He didn’t leave until the last song ended.

And here’s where it stands now:

He slumped back in his chair, watching the dancers with vacant eyes. Screw this, he thought. I shouldn’t have come. She’s not going to show up. Just another power play, and you fell for it. Again. He raised a hand to touch his ear gauges. They’d started hurting again. Stop it! She’s probably stuck in traffic. Anyway, you didn’t have to get here so early. You’re so obvious.

Benny Goodman’s trumpet blared, and bright skirts swirled past his eyes as the lights dimmed. A creepy feeling crawled up his back. What if she saw me dancing earlier? No that’s stupid. She’s not here. He pushed up his glasses and leaned forward to pull his iPhone out of the back pocket of his jeans.

“You coming? Otherwise I’ll probably head home.” He pressed send and leaned back again. Anyway why shouldn’t I dance without her? I’ve been coming here longer than she has. But those creepy silences…I wish she’d just scream, or throw stuff. Well, I’ll wait a few more songs. Maybe she’s in traffic.

Quite a difference, eh? I’ve put it through several different permutations, including switching to a first-person narrative observation where I come in as a character, because somehow that made it easier to include more details of physical appearance without sounding like a laundry list. When I switched into the character’s own POV, however, I found that physical description went almost entirely out the window, because people just don’t list off their own attributes like that. Unless they’re fashion/beauty bloggers, anyway.

Hip-Hop Sonnet #1.

Today has been one of those lazy, rainy days where all I do is sit around doodling and listening to Hamilton. Pretty fantastic.

And then I remembered… oh, hey, it’s Thursday. Your blog day. And you have nothing. Oh dear.

Twitter tells me, however, that today, the 6th of October, is National Poetry Day in the UK. And I have ancestors from the UK. And posting horrible poems is my usual stop-gap. And I’ve been meaning to try my hand at some “Pop Sonnets” for some of the Hamilton songs for a long time. (If you’ve never heard of Pop Sonnets, by all means click the link. What are you waiting for? Do it now.)

So I mean, it’s like it was meant to be.

Here’s my sonnet interpretation of “Hurricane,” the song in which Alexander Hamilton marr’d his fortune by deciding to publish all the sordid details of his extra-marital affair, thinking that somehow this would be a good idea. (Seriously, Alexander? What happened to that top-notch brain?)

At seventeen, a storm engulfed my town,
Yet I found peace in the hurricane’s eye.
Horrified, I watched my people drown;
And though I tried, I could not seem to die.
The pain was great, but could not dull my mind;
I found a quill, my moving story wound.
When I looked up, I found the strangers kind;
They put me on a ship, for New York bound.
I wrote my land out of the English realm,
And with my pen ploughed through all fierce resistance.
I mind me now, though danger overwhelm,
Throughout my life I’ve written my deliv’rance.
I’ll write it down, as far as I can see;
And thus will I protect my legacy.

So that was fun. Don’t judge it too hard, please; I wrote it in about fifteen minutes flat.

New Owners, New Hours.

That title was given to me by my poet brother when I asked him to help me with my daily free-write. If it is useful for a writer to keep a cat around the house, it is equally useful to keep a poet. Here’s what came of it: (Keep in mind that this is a free-write. As such, the quality is not wonderful. There are run-on sentences, repetitions, and even a completely new word or two. Just chill.)

New owners, new hours. The shop in the middle of town, in the middle of the street was being re-done, completely overhauled. The residents of the town didn’t know quite what to think of all the newness.

For many years, more than anybody could remember, the shop had been run by the same person, with the same hours, in the same way without any changes, let alone radical ones. Mrs. Tandy had only opened the shop in the mornings, and not on Sundays. Sure, it may not have been convenient, but it was what the people were used to. Sure, it may have been growing dingier by the year, but then so was everything else, and the people didn’t question it. Sure, it was stocked with an odd assortment of dusty packaged food, but the people knew what to buy and what to avoid.

But now Mrs. Tandy was gone. Now it was being thrown open and cleaned. Now there were people driving in from out of town every morning and standing outside looking at the building with fists propped on hips, or under chins. When they weren’t bustling about changing things, that is. The whole place had a foreign feel to it now. A feeling of energy, of ambition. The town didn’t know what to make of it.

The only person who seemed unmixedly happy about it was the local real estate agent, and nobody quite trusted her anyhow. She had too many ideas; too many schemes for improving the area. What was wrong with the area anyhow? It was just the way it had always been. Now she was always running around, showing the new owners the town, trying to find a house for them to live in now that they had taken over the shop and intended on bringing in their own new ideas.

Nobody had spoken to the new owners, except for young Will, and all he had discovered was that the shop would be open all day, and on Sundays. But the people could sense the new feeling. All this bustle was well and good for the big city, they thought, but their town didn’t need all this change. It had been running along for more years than anybody could remember.

So yeah, there’s that. I think it’s going to turn into something. And very quickly too. I’ve decided to completely pants my way through Camp NaNoWriMo in July. As of this morning, I had absolutely no intention of doing so, but what the heck, right? Carpe… Carpe Monthem. Or something like that… MENSIS!!! Carpe Mensis, everybody.

Don’t Fear the Adverb.

63588144031461650122480800_coffee date

“You know,” she said thoughtfully, “I’ve never understood this great vendetta against adverbs. I mean, they’re a part of speech, aren’t they?”

“Well, yes,” he responded doubtfully.  “But all the people who know what they’re talking about say they should be avoided at all costs.”

“Balderdash,” she said bluntly. “If they exist, they’re meant to be used. Who are these people who ‘know what they’re talking about,’ anyway? I’ll bet you every single one of them has used an adverb this very day.”

He squirmed uneasily. “You shouldn’t say that…”

“Of course, I don’t think they should be used all the time,” she interjected hastily. “Not the way the weird blogger girl who’s making all this up is doing.” She glanced nastily up at the ceiling. “Although to be fair,” she conceded kindly, “I think she’s probably just doing it to make a point.”

“Bu…but,” he stammered miserably, “I’ve always heard that those things should never be used at all. Let the dialogue speak for itself, and all that.”

“Oh yes, yes,” she waved her hands impatiently. “I’m not arguing against that. I simply thing that there’s a time and a place for…” She broke off and stared incredulously at him. “Those things? You’re so scared of them you can’t even say their name, aren’t you? They’re called adverbs. Come on, say it with me. Adverbs.

He gazed around apprehensively. “Not so loud! We’re in a coffee shop, for heaven’s sake. It’s probably crawling with writers.”

“So what? I’m not afraid.” She opened her arms expansively. “Embrace the whole of your language. Love it.”

“No,” he muttered stubbornly.

“Just this once,” she said encouragingly. “It won’t hurt you, I promise. I’m not even asking you to use any of them. Just say their name. Come on. Say it. Adverb. Adverb. Ad–”

“NO!” He stood up explosively, breathing heavily. “I… I can’t. I’m just not ready to take this step. I’m sorry.”

He walked quickly out, leaving her to stare after him sadly.

“But…” she murmured forlornly, “You were supposed to buy the next round of lattes.”

Un-primed Poetry Primer.

Oh, dear. This has been quite a distracting week for me, and I don’t really have anything brilliant to share with you about my writing journey.

So guess what that means?

In this post on The Ode Less Travelled, I said that if I ever felt brave, I would share some of my execrable poetry attempts with you all. Well, I don’t feel brave, but I literally HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SHARE.

All my humblest apologies for what follows.

About halfway through the book, Stephen Fry required his readers to write verse in each of six different forms we had been studying. The “poems” had to describe their own form. It was a pretty challenging exercise, and I was happy just to get through it, honestly. Here’s what came of it:

Terza Rima

In Terza Rima rhyming is the scheme
Which binds together every other line.
This linking form makes every stanza seem

Continued from the last, and this is fine.
But when your thought is full, about to pop,
And in your verse there’s nothing to refine,
An extra “C” rhyme brings it to a stop.

The Quatrain

The Quatrain is a standard English verse
Whose use is varied, and the options wide.
As poets, we could really all do worse
Than keep the Quatrain firmly by our side.

The Rubai

The Rubai’s an exotic kind of way
To write the things you think of day by day.
You may say “How’s it different from the last?”
Look close; you’ll see the scheme’s “aaba.”

Rhyme Royal

This verse, you know, was good enough for Geoff,
And some say it was used by Henry Four.
If with iambic feet we can be deft,
(And if our rhyming skills are not too poor)
On Royal form, why would we shut the door?
Add one last couplet to cement the thought;
Our rhyme is ended, and our poem caught.

Ottava Rima

This form is not unlike the Royal Rhyme
Which from old Chaucer has been handed down.
Though both these forms have stood the test of time,
And may be found in shops in every town,
Preferring this one’s surely not a crime:
The Royal’s double couplet makes me frown.
Plus, Byron used this Rima for Don Juan!
So surely that fact lends the form some brawn.

Spencerian Stanza

Oh Spencer, why did you invent this form
Just to write your stupid Faerie Queen?*
You must have known it couldn’t be the norm;
Its lines are snaky. Only the greats could lean
On verse like this. The rest must find you mean;
And they, like me, refusing to be led
Along your garden path, or up your bean-
Stalk, must (if not already) wish you dead.
Don’t take offense, but I must say I hate you, Ed.

So there you have it. My gosh-awful self-referential verses. While they are inexcusably terrible, they DO meet all the requirements of the forms. For someone like me, who doesn’t profess to have the foggiest clue about the musicality of words, that’s not half bad.

*The Faerie Queen is probably not stupid. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t read it. That descriptor was merely inspired by my exasperation with Spencer for creating this obnoxiously twisty form. The rhyme scheme is “ababbcbcc.” Well, I ask you!



Silent Dialogue.

A while ago, I decided to try writing an entire conversation without one quotation mark. Then I left the country and promptly forgot about it. Well, I remembered it early this week, and here’s what I came up with. It’s not technically a conversation, I guess, but I think it has some interesting undercurrents.

coffee mug

The woman picks up her mug from the windowsill and stares at the ring of pale coffee left behind until her eyes unfocus and slide past it to the tree outside. She doesn’t show any sign of awareness when the man comes into the room. 

He stands behind her for a moment, then cups her elbows with his hands and leans over her shoulder. She turns her face away, so he presses his lips into her collarbone. The stand like this for a long time, until she shuts her eyes and sways backward. Her motion is barely perceptible, but he pulls her into him and kisses her cheek before leaving the room. The woman sets her mug down again, aligning the bottom in the exact center of the coffee ring. 

The front door opens and closes softly. A minute later the car hums away down the street. The woman wraps her arms around her body and folds forward until her forehead is pressed against the glass, her lips stretched tight over her teeth. The surface of the coffee shimmers as tears fall into it.

There you have it. As usual, I’ve presented this little piece of writing to you in all it’s unedited glory, because after it gets edited, it might turn into something better. But I for one think it’s kind of fun to read rough work. It’s a bit like getting to watch Picasso making sketches, or Baryshnikov in the rehearsal studio. Know what I’m saying?