Here’s a good quiz for all the romance writers out there… although it can apply to everyone, of course.
In the early 1970s, the psychologist John Alan Lee developed a way of explaining 6 primary and secondary “love styles” in terms of the color wheel. Frankly, I don’t really understand the color wheel part, but hey.
Essentially, the part that I do understand is that the six love styles have Greek names; the primary styles being called Eros, Ludus, and Storge; and the secondary styles Mania, Agape, and Pragma.
The quick breakdown of each style is this:
- Eros lovers are the “love at first sight” types. The passionate and hopeless romantics who place a lot of importance on physical attraction.
- Ludus lovers are the players. No really, it’s that simple.
- Storge lovers are the ones who fall for their friends. Attraction develops after mutual interests are discovered, and commitment is of primary importance.
- Manic lovers are the obsessive, possessive lovers. They want to believe the object of their affection is a god on earth, and they need constant attention and affection, or else they will be easily overwhelmed by anxiety and jealousy.
- Agape lovers are the selfless ones, who truly believe their lover’s happiness is more important than their own. They will gladly sacrifice themselves for their partners. They tend to be generous, but can also lean toward martyrdom.
- Pragma lovers are the practical ones, who are more interested in the convenience of a relationship than the wildness of hormones. They tend to size up possible partners, judging them based on whether or not they share compatible traits and goals. They are very certain of their “type,” and won’t consider anybody who doesn’t match their requirements.
So those are the basics. It can be useful to know what your character’s primary style is, so that you don’t have them falling wildly and desperately in love with a stranger if they’re more likely to take a step back and consider whether or not they check off enough of their bullet-points.
It’s an interesting quiz to take for yourself, as well. For instance, while I was doing my research for this post, I discovered that I am primarily a Storge lover (hence my love for Jane Austen’s Emma, and longstanding crush on Mr. Knightley), but Eros came in a VERY close second. Meaning, I suppose, that my best plans for relationships will be to make friends with hot guys. But I digress…
Anyhow, today’s game plan is as follows:
- Take your character through this quiz.
- Read a much clearer and more detailed explanation of each love style here.
- Satisfy my ‘satiable curiosity by telling me what kind of lover your character is down in the comments. Or graffiti it on the side of a building somewhere. Whatever.
Now it’s time to drag my faithful Nate through it. I’m pretty apprehensive about this one, frankly, because he’s seventeen and has never actually been in love. But he’s in the process of falling for a girl, so we’ll see if he can use his imagination…
Well, I certainly underestimated Nate. He flew through the questions, and to be quite honest, I have absolutely no idea what I will find when I click the button to get his results…
Oof, Nate is an Eros lover, with a strong side of Agape. Sounds like a pretty nice combo, to me. Good job, kid.